Up in the Air

As day after day passes, my future becomes more and more at the forefront of my mind. So on this gloomy Michigan day, I come to you somehow content and at peace with where I am at, and wherever I may end up.

Needed and Glorious Distractions

You may know me well, or not so well at all. What is clear everyday is that God knows me SO well.

I'm a person who always loves to be in control. The people close to me know this about me, and either live with it or appreciate it (probably more the former than the latter). So when I come up against a time of uncertainty, I get REALLY flustered. My heart beats a little faster, and I'm uncomfortable.

Come August 20, I have no idea where I will be. Will I stay in Grand Rapids for a little bit? Will I stay here for a long time? Will I fulfill my 2-year pursuit of moving to the Carolinas? I honestly have no idea. But this I know - if I was allowed to think about this nonstop, I WOULD. So I thank God for needed and glorious distractions.

I've been so blessed this summer to live with one of my best friends. Together we always find something to do. I've yet to feel this comfortable living away from home. And for that, I thank you Paul. Your presence has given me a steady and needed influence this summer.

To friends and friends of friends - Thank you for continuing to be a part of my life! Last weekend, I was 'distracted' by a friend coming up from Indiana. Next week, Luke comes back to Grand Rapids for close to a week! Can't wait for it.

And through it all, I can sense that God is just keeping me sane. He knows me better than anyone, and He has given me the distractions I've needed to enjoy the summer in all of its glory. And for that, I thank Him.

Blessings - Friends

I know these kind of posts are repetitive and boring; everyone is saying how blessed they are with their friends and all, but I guess I feel the need to pile on.

After what I felt was a relatively stagnant year Junior year, I was a little worried about a boring senior year with little to no differences in my relationships. But God just blew me away. I felt so blessed, because not only did my faithful friends stick around through my senior year, but I met as many people as I did freshman year. So thanks to all of you friends, whether I've known you since freshman year, or for a couple months. And Glory to God most of all, because just when I started to feel like my life was beginning to get stale, He gave me more blessings in friends than I ever could have imagined.

I'll be truthful, I'm leaving Calvin with less than a great handle on business (my major). While I've learned quite a bit at Calvin, I can almost guarantee the friends and connections that I have made at Calvin will be so much more impactful on my life than anything i read in a textbook or heard in a lecture. That liberal arts education is good and all, but the quality people you meet in droves at Calvin is really the difference maker in my opinion.

I'm not one to be all reflective, but at my very last Loft this evening I was completely struck by the friends God has placed in my life. I honestly about broke down an cried (not much for that either) What more could I ask for? I have such a great group of reliable, close friends that I lean on for advice on projects, girls, jobs. I can tell half the time they'd rather have me just shut up, but they always listen all the way through, and give me their two-cents worth. These kind of relationships are few and far between, especially with people as opinionated as me. But my friends aren't afraid to speak their mind to me, and for that I'm grateful.

To those people I have met this semester, I am so blessed to have you spice up my life. You don't know how many times I said junior year that I wanted to hang out with new people, and there you were. Most of these stemmed from my trip to the Galapagos, where God showed me his creation in a way I never thought possible. For most of you, I hope we can get to know each other even more over the summer. It's been a blast.

As I wind up my collegiate career, I just praise God for the BEST FRIENDS ANYONE COULD ASK FOR!

Jeremiah 1:7 – “Do not say, I am only a child. You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.”

I have always felt a little bad for Jeremiah. Why does he get stuck with being the bearer of bad news constantly for God? Everybody from his generation hates him. What is amazing to me is that Jeremiah never falters (at least that’s what I recall). He “approval” rating is probably 5% in Israel at the time. But he doesn’t care. He just keeps on doing what God has told him to do.

That kind of direction and purpose had a to be a somewhat invigorating feeling for Jeremiah. I hope that feeling comes to me, and soon. Here I am, with a month to go before graduating from college, and I still don’t’ feel like I have that direction in life. Where is God leading me? What people is he leading me to be with? Will he provide the funds necessary to make due if I go it alone out there? Big questions that I frankly don’t have an answer for.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am blessed beyond belief. I have no student loans, I’ve got a job for the summer that is going to be a growing and awesome experience. I’ve got some of the most solid friends I could ask for. But that close-knit relationship with God? It just seems sort of unattainable now.

On my spring break, we talked about Mother Theresa. In her journals, she consistently lamented the fact that God was so far away from her; she never really felt his presence in her life. She felt marooned and isolated.

Talk about depressing. How can someone that is going after God that hard not feel His presence? But at the same time, that gives me a kind of strength. If Mother Theresa was never feeling God’s presence and was able to accomplish all that she did, I certainly can’t complain with all the blessings he’s bestowed on me.

SPORTS! - In honor of Jess Hendriksma

God has even granted me some simple joys in life, including new friendships and success for my favorite sports team. I think God enjoys making us happy in little things like that. The pleasure we get out of things like sports are just a tiny taste of what we will get later. But I’ll break down my team, the Bucks, a little more in depth.

The Bucks - same shit, different year.

Pardon my french, but this was disappointing for me. The Bucks had been playing so well that they were actually giving me some hope about a possible first round victory against the likes of the Celtics or Hawks. I got to watch their game against the Suns when I was home - and witnessed live the horrifying demise of Andrew's right arm. It was hideous; and it's just one more reason I don't like Amare.

What's left now? I'll break down what needs to happen for the Bucks to have a chance against the Hawks, who appear to be their first round matchup.

Steady Salmons - Contrary to popular belief, John Salmons has to continue his consistent production. I can't really ask much more from him than about 22 ppg. I don't want him to score anymore than that, because it will kill the ball movement that has made the Bucks such a big success.

Juggernaut Jennings - Brandon, on the other hand, needs to return to early season form. I don't see the Bucks pulling off a victory unless Jennings shoots 45% for the series, and averages at least 18 ppg. His assist numbers are important too, but Jennings' has to have the swagger to knock down shots off the pick and roll, because if he's shooting his typical 37%, the Bucks have no shot.

Draino Delfino - Delfino needs to come in with an average of 3 three's a night for the Bucks to be successful, as well as crash the boards in the absence of Bogut. If he averages 14 and 7 a game, I'd be real happy.

Krafty Kurt - Kurt Thomas needs to bust some skulls and average 10 boards a game. If he can get in Horford's head and limit him, it would be a huge help.

The Ersanator combined with Turk Nowitzki - This is the biggest leap. Ersan Ilyasova needs to play unbelievable well for the bucks to have a chance. He needs to be the energy guy that will grab four offensive boards a game, and also nail 2 daggers from deep a game. If Ersan doesn't average 14 and 8 for the series, they have no chance. He needs to match Josh Smith's production.

Persistent Prince - I don't need big numbers from you, but you need to keep Joe Johnson from ever scoring more than 25 a game. He's good and he's gonna get his, but making him take a lot of shots to get there is important.

My prediction? Hawks 4, Bucks 1. Bucks have to steal one game for the home crowd.

All you wanted to know about the Bucks and my life issues. Until next time....

After perhaps the best month in my life, where I journaled consistently, I feel compelled to write on a daily basis about life and what God has done for me. Perhaps not everything will get published in a blog, because some things are better said between you and God, and some things need to be hashed out with friends, but Regardless, I feel great about doing this, and setting a new tone for this year, growing off the experience I have had in the Galapagos and Ecuador for the past month.

· February 3, 2010 – Isaiah 45:2 – “I will go out before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.”

• I like me some basketball analogies, and after reading Bill Simmons gushing over Moses Malone and how he went after rebounds with reckless abandon, this is how I am picturing God at the moment. I am at the top of the so-called spiritual mountain, I have seen some spectacular things. God has come through for me in so many ways in the past month it is unfathomable. And to me, this verse just personifies (which doesn’t work when describing God, but you get it) what is going on in my life. He’s just blazing a trail for me in life, and it feels great. I know I will come down off this mountain at some point, probably even soon, but right now I’m just trying to soak it in and appreciate it.

· February 4, 2010 – Oswald Chambers – Nov 30 – “There is only one relationship that really matters, and that is your personal relationship to your personal Redeemer and Lord.”

• It is tough to look at this verse, because there is part of me that is always looking into what my actions look like from other’s perspective. Maybe God wants me to let that go a little, so I can go hard after Him instead.
• I’m beginning to come off the mountain a little bit. My car won’t start, and I got to find a mechanic now to fix the issue. I’m beginning to tell the same story too many times. I just have to keep looking through the pictures to remind myself how blessed I was, and use it in my semester as fuel.

· February 5, 2010 – Proverbs 24:26 – “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”

• Maybe this verse stuck out to me because it is an easy one for me to follow. I think God still wants me to use tact in my conversations, but not necessarily always hold my tongue.

On to more secular things.

At some point, when I figure out how, I will try to post some pictures on here from my trip to the Galapagos and Ecuador. But since most of you that follow me know about my trip already, I'll go to all the things you don't want to know but I want to tell you about.

Books over the last 2 months

• The Alchemist - A good book, short, but interesting. A little different feel than I am used to, but it was a good change of pace from the usual.
• Mere Christianity (C.S. Lewis) - I read this book when I was 17, and most of the stuff just went straight over my head, as much as I don't like to admit it. I was in a different place, and had little patience for C.S. Lewis' philosophical words and writing. I never even finished it the first time and what a shame, because the second half of the book is the best. I am continually amazed at how humbled you can be by C.S. Lewis' writings. Probably one of the main points I took away from the book is how silly comparing yourself to others is. God has given us each different temperaments and abilities. Just because you are a 'nicer' person than some crab down the street, doesn't mean that God looks at you with any more favor. If God has given you an even temperament and optimistic outlook, don't pat yourself on the back and take credit for what God has given you. Go out and do something with it. For whom much is given, much is expected I believe the bible says somewhere.
• The Appeal (John Grisham) - This was my first John Grisham book, and I would have to say, I wasn't overly impressed. It's easy reading, don't get me wrong. But there weren't many twists. I'll give him another shot, but I am underwhelmed thus far by his writing.
• Black Angel (John Connelly) - In process - I'm about half way through this book now, and I got to find another copy. Really interesting thriller book. I would recommend it thus far.
• The Book of Basketball (Bill Simmons) - In process - This book has been everything I was hoping for. I feel like I have a great background for the game that I love now, and have a better understanding of the pros that made the game the way it is today, and the teams that were the best of the best. I even have learned a little about my '71 Bucks. You'll like this book if you really, really love the NBA. If not, you'll probably find it all a bit boring.

More to come on my sports teams and such later on. It's too late now to keep on keeping on. Sorry for the delay for any of those who still look to read this thing.

Back from a hiatus

Sup small group of followers. I appreciate your loyal support considering the infrequent use of this blog. I was planning on doing this every Sunday night, but plans have changed over the last few weeks due to some very good distractions. I hope you enjoy my tidbits for the week.

Nothing's Better than friends you can count on.

• I continue to be grateful for the friends I have gained at school as well as the high school buddies that I still hang out with. Every once and a while I step back and thank God that I am so lucky. Going up to Grand Rapids really showed me friends that were true companions...staying up until 2:30 AM to see me when I got in, taking days off to go seadooing, and playing golf with me despite it not being their favorite sport. 
• At the same time, I have a core group of friends at home that I continue to hang out with, albeit on a calmer and routine basis. Thursday night basketball continues to be one of the highlights of the week for me, and just seeing those guys and laughing with them makes me feel good. 
• Despite all these quality realtionships, I'm still looking for that one special relationship (you know what I mean.) I don't plan to go all senior scramble or any of that jazz, but I understand how that one relationship really makes everything feel right in the world. I continue to desire for that relationship to be with God now and when I find that someone. I shouldn't need a mortal replacement because of my relationship with God, but it's tough. 

Family is good Too

• Hanging out with my sisters and my brother in law over the fourth was a great time for me again, where I got to be the little brother again, and not all the questions came my way at the dinner table. Watching them gives me hope that everything will be alright when school gets out for good and I go into the great beyond. 

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. - Job 1:21

• I'll be honest; Up until Wednesday I had been extremely fed up with caddying. I had gotten on the wrong side of a few decisions made and had continued to get the short end of the straw. Wednesday may have been the angriest I have been in the past year. But low and behold, God grabs my attention with the verse above. My problems were small, and I went into work the next day with a fresh attitude (where I'll be ready and accepting of whatever happens). And Thursday I got a great break, and made some fantastic money with some great guys caddying for them Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Also, I caddy for a friend of mine tomorrow. Just when I was at that point, God provided for me. Oh, and that 3 day outing may end up turning into a job opportunity on top of all that. God is good.

Book of the week - The Shack

I thought it was a fitting title to a book considering I would be reading it in the caddy"shack". Very interesting read. I would recommend it, but for some reason I thought I would be more gripped by it. I figured with over 4 million copies sold that it had to be a page turner, and I never felt like that was the case. Regardless, it was a powerful story that was very well written, and considering I have had...let me check...39 views on my blog, I shouldn't probably be critiquing the writing of a NY Times best seller.

Until next time...

Another Week, Another Blog

As the weather finally warms here in Sheboygan, I come to my readers (however small in number they may be) with my tasty snippets for the week.

Hole In One

Yep, I got one. And I can't say finally, because I know tons of golfers who much more deserving than me and are much better players. But it was a fantastic experience, and I get to say it happened on one of the most difficult courses in the nation. I even got to see the ball go in. 

My joy lasted for about 3 minutes until I started to realize that my playing partners (who all happened to be caddies that drink a significant amount of alcohol) would soon be expecting me to pay for their night of drinks. And sure enough, just as the thought entered my mind, they began to say, "I can't wait to celebrate at the bar tonight!" I've never been so glad not to be of age. Thank goodness it happened when I was 20 years and 11 months and 3 weeks old. I would have been significantly lighter in the pocketbook otherwise.

Congrats to the Lakers

I would like to point out that the series ended 4-1, just as I predicted in last weeks blog. I am rarely right about sports predictions, despite watching copious amounts of it. So I will take this moment to gloat. mmmm...

I can't say I watched much of this game. When the magic were down 10 at half it already felt over. Kobe played well (although I still think his team play is substandard) and his supporting cast showed up in a big way the past few nights. Give them credit. They were clearly the superior team in this series.

U.S. Open

Amazing test of golf. I have no idea who will win. I've got a feeling it is going to be a blast from the past. I'm gonna pick Jimmy Furyk, even though I dislike him. My favorite Johnny Miller quote was about Furyk's game face on Sunday at Augusta. The camera pans to him and Miller says, "boy...That's a face only a mother could love." Let's see if my predictions can go 2 for 2.

On to the next book

As I finished 2 billion cars, a book written by Donald Sterling on sustainability (finally), I began to read arguably my favorite writer, C.S. Lewis. There are so many qualities about his writing that I enjoy. First, I love how it makes me feel about myself. C.S. Lewis has a reputation for heavy and deep reading, and sticking my nose in his book makes me feel smarter. I know that sounds rediculous, and I've never admitted that, but it's true. I do get some snippets out of him that I find remarkably insightful, and make it worth the hours of grind it out, tough reading. In this case, The Problem of Pain is the read. Written about how to deal with loss as a Christian, it has been interesting so far. One of the main premises I have gotten out of it so far is that the reason we struggle with God allowing things to happen is because we think are generally good people. When Jesus spoke to the Jews at the time, the general rule was people knew that they were bad, and corrupt at heart. In this day of age of self-affirmation and political correctness, we have lost that sense of 'badness' and instead look at God's plan with skepticism and rule it unfair. Until we get back to that sense of shame, it will be impossible for us to really understand the world in which we live.

That's my segway to my favorite passage of the week of reading; 1 Corinthians 9. I don't think this chapter gets enough publicity. Everyone knows the 13th chapter about love, but I really thoroughly enjoyed the 9th chapter. Paul comes across as an everyday guy, with passions and things that get under his skin and problems just like everybody else. Despite all the examples of the 'humanness' of Paul, he shows how remarkably devoted he is to the only true cause he lives for. The height of the chapter where he proves this is verse 19. "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible." God calls us to make these sacrifices. 

I tend to put Paul on a pedestal because his preaching and dedication to Christ is so amazingly high. I can't really put his actions into a current context in the world of 2009. This chapter is as close as I have found to showing the weakness of Paul as well as the absolute power and strength he had through Christ.

That is all for now. Feel free to comment or critique. I look forward to writing again next week.